Closer
by bleachlover20053
Summary: Life in Rukongai...If shinigami are gods, then why have they abandoned us?
1. Chapter 1

. : Closer : .

_I want to get out of here. I want get closer to it._

Those were my earliest thoughts from my childhood. I watched the cold grey walls that towered over us not with distaste but with hope, a hope that one day I could get out of this hellhole that I call home to somewhere better. Here in Rukongai there was only eternity; souls that died and were buried in Earth get sent to here to live an eternal afterlife of peace. But peace is only a word and much like back in Earth, I learned that even afterlife was controlled by the few who had strength.

I'm not sure if I was sent here or was born in this deserted land, I have no recollection of any past memories, only those short years I lived in Rukongai still haunts my dreams. At a young age I discovered that I possess something called reiatsu, a power to harness spiritual energy within that only a select few can control. But with power also came a burden: Hunger. With no parents or siblings to name, I was nothing but a homeless orphan with a little gift and no food. Craving to the temptation within, I resorted to stealing and fighting for it, soon making a name for myself.

Abarai Renji

Those who were close to me, my friends, as well as the enemies I made, addressed me by the name that was given to me by someone I never met or spoke to. Renji: a delinquent, a thief, a loyal friend, a tough fighter, all of it was part of me, my identity. All I cared about was surviving, forgetting the goals I set for myself many years ago, I lived my life with my friends like there was no tomorrow because who knew except for god what hell would tomorrow bring.

"Hey my name is Rukia."

Indeed what fresh hell brought me that day was something I would have never expected in a million years. I met her during one of our many thefts when the owner caught up to us and started beating us. From out of nowhere a ball, no bigger than the size of a fist, flew out of nowhere and just missed him. It must have scared the crap out of him since he ran off faster than lightning but I couldn't laugh at him for doing that since I was afraid, too. My fear was broken when I heard a giggle from behind me. I slowly turned my stiff body only to find a girl sitting at the top branch of a dead tree. She had onyx black hair and boyish attitude but what attracted my eyes was the glowing ball of energy floating on her hand. To be honest to this day I was more jealous of her than fascinated, that while we had the same abilities, she was able to achieve a level of power that I couldn't achieve. She quickly became a member in our small family of friends, my partner in crime, my best friend, and a life long rival.

Decades. In that short of amount time she and I made new friends, said good-bye to the old ones, and buried countless number of them with our very hands. I do not know how many of our companions we lost to time but I can feel them living inside of me even now as I trace lines of the tattoo I had done on my forehead in commemorations to them. On that day, as Rukia and I buried the last of our dear family members, we made a vow. A vow to us and a vow to those departed that we will get stronger and achieve a status greater than life itself, that we would become death. Like that she and I swore to the setting sun that we shall, with our very souls on the line, to become shinigami.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

I have always been alone.

Ever since I can remember I was all alone. When I cried. When I laughed. When I ate. When I slept. Always. I gathered everything I could get my hands on to create a home of sticks. The cold earth was my floor and bed while the starry night sky was my ceiling. During rainy days the trees were my roof. The nature was my parent and my teacher that taught me how to survive even during harshest times. I did not know joy nor did I experience sadness, only loneliness.

78

I hated that number and still do. Some called it District 78 while others called it Inuzuri: a howling dog, how ironic to those that cry for even scrap of food. To me and thousands, maybe millions of others, it was where we lived until we finally die, accomplishing nothing. Everyday I motivated myself by glaring at the wall that separated us, the poor, from the elites that lived on the other side in Seireitei. I never understood why only they got to live in happiness while we out here lived in despair.

"I can do it too," I used to say under my breath. The nature and my loneliness made me strong and aware of myself and the powers I possessed. I heard from the people who took glimpse of my powers call it reiatsu and that shinigami harness that power to use techniques called kidou. I thought that was my key so I decided to use that power to the fullest I can. I was going to make this power mine, it was going to be something that I will excel at. With that said, I was able to control this power of mine within a few years and it was time for me to test it out.

As I sat on the highest branch of an oak tree that I used to take shelter under during the rainy season, I sought a worthy opponent to try my new moves. _Too big, too small, too fat, too skinny, _I sat on that branch for hours until the perfect prey came my way. The first thing I noticed was the boy with crimson red hair that reminded me of the blazing flames that kept me warm at night. He was running towards her with a loaf of bread in his arms and a few other boys behind him while a middle aged looking man chasing them, face purple with lack of oxygen and full of frustration. The man eventually caught up with the boys a few feet away from me and started beating them. At first I was going to fight the boys and take their bread but something about the sight in front of me set me off. Gathering the strength within me, I unleashed my ball of reiatsu at the gluttonous looking man. Even if the shot was a miss, which was expected, it seemed that the blow was scary enough of a bluff make the man run away with his tails in between his legs.

"Hee hee," I giggled as I watched the man scurry on back. Then as I unconsciously made another ball of reiatsu and tossed it up and down. From the corner of my eyes I could see the frightened look of the boy with red hair. Attempting the best smile I could muster up I introduced myself.

"Hey my name is Rukia, how's it hanging?"

Rukia, that was the name given to me by someone I never met in my life. Never learning how to read, when people asked for my name I showed them the not with my name written on it and eventually memorized it. I didn't learn what the name meant until much later on but it was a better way to introduce myself to others rather than "None of your business."

I climbed down from my tree of solitude and stood tall amongst the boys who were on their knees. Grinning, I ripped off a piece of the bread and took a bite.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

Like that, for the first time in my life I made friends. They were a part of me and me a part of them. I didn't know what having a family meant but if I had one I was sure that it would feel like those days I long miss. We were orphans, children who were thrown away. A pack of stray dogs that relied on each other for strength. Together we spent our days without worry. If we needed food, we store some. If we were bored, we played games to entertain ourselves. Like that time quickly passed until the great famine hit. Many of our brothers died leaving me alone once again.

"Hey Rukia, let's become shinigami," I watched with bewilderment as I heard Renji speak those words. That frightened red haired boy I rescued a long ago looked so big at that moment. Without realizing, his once small back looked so broad now as he stared at the sun set, his hands covered in dirt.

"Yeah," I said in agreement, gently elbowing his side, "that's the least we can do for these guys."

We grinned at each other like idiots as we promised each other to become shinigami, the gods of death.

_So when did we start growing apart?_


End file.
